Thursday

Two things happened today. Fire and a phone call. Unrelated, by the way.

I was making pancakes this morning when I noticed an unusual amount of noise coming from the streets. I went outside when I heard sirens to see what the ruckus was all about. There was a fire across the street. A huge pillar of smoke (what I’d imagine the column of fire to look like from the Moses’ time) was coming from behind the building, and from my house I could feel the emanating heat. Firemen were climbing up ladders with their hoses to get a better view of the fire. People were gathering outside my house to get a better view.

They eventually put out the fire, but the smoke had cooled down and blanketed our compound. We closed the windows and filtered our mouths with our shirts. Then the power went out.

This afternoon I got a phone call from IBM. They weren’t offering me a position, but were notifying me of a phone interview with an account manager on Monday. I informed them that I signed with another company, and they said to call them back if anything happens because that was supposed to be the final interview.

I don't regret my decision (yet. I know I’ll regret it every morning when I fight through traffic), but I still wonder if I made the right decision. Everyone I talked to said to take the research job, but IBM just seemed so much more convenient and friendlier. And in the pro/con list I made, I gave the most importance to the job description, when really I don’t really care what I do. But I assure you, I’m confident I made the right decision.

It’s strange. I’ve been stressed out about this job thing for the last month. I anxiously wait for phone calls and have long conversations with people about my possible future. I lose sleep at night and lose my appetite. People try to reassure me that God will take care of me, and that I shouldn’t worry about the future. But then days like this happen, where a calamity strikes. Not to me, but to those around me. A sister, or parent will pass away, or a fire will erupt across your street. The aftermath is horrendous. I walked outside when it was all over, and saw people with what’s left of their possessions straddling the side of the road, wiping away their tears.

I don’t know what conclusion I’m trying to end at. Everything I want to say seems shallow and self-centered compared to what I witnessed earlier. My problems, my worries are temporary. I had two jobs lined up in front of me and I’m losing sleep over it, while there will be people tonight who won’t even have a place to sleep. Sigh