Christianity in my life

As with anywhere on earth, there are many stereotypes we attribute to different groups, some are justifiable, others are ridiculous. But one that I'm really intrigued by is the perception of Protestants/Born Again/Evangelical Christians here in the Philippines. I remember having a conversation with a friend at a school party. It was held at a club and it was about AIDs awareness, so they gave away condoms and served alcohol. I told my friend that I don't drink (due to my upbringing and partly because I attend a very conservative Church). And her reply was, "Christians are such good people. You guy don't drink or smoke. G. is a Christian too, right? She's such a nice person. So much better than her friends."

At first I attributed this to the Church that G. and I attend: An uber-conservative Chinese Church that doesn't condone dancing, let alone drinking. I thought to myself, I hope you know that not all Christians are "good."

Then earlier at work I was chatting with a coworker and she started talking about her ex-boyfriend. "He's a Christian, just like you. He's super nice. [Why aren't you nice like him?]" And again, she attributed Protestants with being genuinely nice. And when I thought about it, she had a lot of reasons to believe that. There are other Christians at my work place and they're the kindest people you'll ever meet. They treat people as people want to be treated, with respect. They don't say mean or hurtful things, but instead show kindness.

Almost every serious Christian I know has a very kind heart, whether it's demonstrated through generosity or service or words of encouragement, it makes spotting Christians in the secular world really easy. Didn't Jesus say, "By their fruit you will recognize them."

At church I always ask myself, how can I be a Christian at work? There's no obvious answer, but for me, you just have to be different. The world will spot you by your behavior. Sure you can aggressively share the gospel in 20 minutes (which I've been trained to do), but so far the only people it's attracted are the people who are already Christians. I've talked to non-Christians and they've said it's a turn off.

"Christians are so pushy and forceful. They always say, 'if you don't become a Christian now you're going to hell.' What right do they have to say that to me? I'm not that bad. I don't think God will hate me for my small sins."

Another person said something like, "I'm okay with Christians, but I don't like it when they force their religion on you."

I don't mean to bash certain organizations that evangelize like this. Sometimes it works and people are saved and it's great. Sometimes it drives a whole other stereotype about Protestants and I don't like it. And what's painful is that I am pressured by these people, and they say that I'm not doing the Great Commission because I'm not taking every opportunity. And it hurts when I hear Jesus say that "every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire."

At the same time, I don't think Christianity should be cheaply marketed. I hate it when random people approach me telling me about some great deal that I can avail of, or some NGO that I contribute to. And in the same way, I kind of feel that way about religion -- I don't want to be trapped into hearing the Good News. I don't want to be cornered by a fanatic. I don't want to buy something that I don't feel I need.

And I feel terrible for thinking this way because I know Christians who truly believe in a 20-minute gospel presentation. Is that the labor God wants from us? Or is it being stereotypically nice? Are we supposed to seize every opportunity? Or do we wait for the perfect time? And the question I struggle with most, are we any better for choosing one side over the other?

Two Stories

I have to write out these two stories before I forget them.

1) Aha!

I have a remarkable ability at not remembering dreams. Dreams, for me, are as slippery as an ice rink in tropical countries (I was supposed to say 'as slippery as a greased pic' which actually makes sense, but is not relevant to Philippine life). Once I wake up in the morning, everything that happened that night is wiped away, like the morning after heavy drinkng(still not relevant). I need to stop with these similes. Anyway, yesterday I had a dream, but forgot it when I woke up. I knew the dream was interesting, but wasn't sure why. I wanted to be bummed out, but it's hard to be bummed out about something that you can't remember.

Skip to me commuting to work that morning. The MRT is croweded every morning, starting from 6:50 onward. We're crammed inside like sardines (relevant) and every now and then you bump into someone intentionally. Someone bumped that morning: a guy gave me an uppercut, caught me in the jaw. All of a sudden my dream came back to me. The guy was apologetic, but he must've been weirded out by my broad grin (exaggerating). His soft and unintentional punch helped me remember my dream, which was of me getting into a fight, getting a swollen, black eye.

That's all I remember, actually. I need to get hit again to remember the rest of it.

2) Elevator

I barely caught the elevator this morning. Again, I'm crowded around people heading to work. I press the button for 15, and then hear a guy behind me comment, "Gee, every floor is pressed except for 9 and 10." And I kid you not, I almost pressed 9 and 10. If it was anyone I know, if the people around me weren't strangers, I would have done it. The only thing that prevented me from making everyone have no wait for floors 9 and 10 was my superego. It also helped that I didn't see the person behind me.

Gosh, I'm immature.

Teaming-up

Can you say that I'm partly responsible for something I had no control over? something that was unpredictable? Sure, you can argue that we were collectively responsible for making R. cry, but who knew that would happen? We tease one another a lot, it was the starting point of our group, the foundation that we built our relationship on. Jokes are something to laugh about, not something to take personally. Thus it perplexes me why R. would unravel emotionally when we said she became meaner after the second days of work. Well, sure that was a mean thing to say -- but the truth is everyone became mean and she was the nicest one of us all. She was tempered, religious, innocent . . . That's probably the reason she took it so hard. She got it into her head that we as a group secretly furbished a terrible reputation for her. She believed that our jokes were no longer jokes but discreet cries for R. to stop being such a bully. And that's why she broke. That's why she cried. And that's why I filled her mug with strawberry flavored hi-chew. Get well dear.