Note: I wrote the following yesterday, June 24, 2011, before my internet got cut off.
You can read about the tropical storm "Falcon" on news sites like Inquirer.net or ABS-CBNnews.com/ANC , but I also want to state what was going through my mind this morning. I hope the Taiwan consulate is open. I knew that if Falcon was anything like Ondoy, my chances of securing a visa to Taiwan in time for a Wednesday departure would disappear, and I had made up my mind that leaving after Wednesday was both too expensive and too short a trip. I set the condition: if I was able to apply for a visa and book a ticket that morning, then I would go; if false, then I would cancel my trip. Recalling my thought process this morning is embarrassing because I was so decisive.
You should know something about me, I'm very pessimistic. I was so unsure my plans would push through because there were so many things that could go wrong. What if I can't print the documents? What if I don't have enough money? So many what if's... And it doesn't help that my mom and I planned the trip the day before.
When I think about the future, I think of all the hurdles I may face, all the problems I may encounter, and all the failures I may have to endure. This doesn't only apply to my trip to Taiwan, but to life in general. As a relatively fresh graduate, I still find financial independence to be daunting. As a guy who's never been in a long and serious relationship, marriage seems like a foreign concept. And raising kids? That's another life. I don't have the maturity for that. I'm not financially stable. I can't even pay for my own rent. Tomorrow one of my high school friends is getting married. We talked about it once. We briefly exchanged words about growing up and what it means to be living by our own hands, so-to-speak. From my vantage point, it looks impossible. I cant even tell how I made it this far. God's grace, I'm sure. But more and more I realize, life is a relentless storm: possessions will be swept away, valuables will submerge in the floods, lives will be lost.
But fortunately, today, I was able to apply for my visa and I was able to book a flight to Taipei. I'm weathering the storm so far, and the future looks promising. In a week's time I'll be in Taiwan. I pray that everything works out.
