#27

Today I received a letter in the mail. There was no return address and the top right hand corner of the envelope was blank. The envelope didn’t even have an address on it. All it said was “For Sam.”

After being tricked by Carl one too many times I developed some paranoid habits. First I poke the envelope with a stick, thinking it might explode the detonator. When nothing happened I picked it up with a garden glove and dropped it on the sidewalk. I got a magnifying glass from my house and examined whether there were traces of cyanide on its cover. I didn’t find any.

I looked at my watch and realized I had just wasted fifteen minutes of my life, so I plopped myself down and tore open the envelope with my bare hands.

Within the envelope was stationary card.

“Happy Thanksgiving,” said a cartoony turkey on the cover. I opened up the card and read, “One thing I’m thankful for is for this opportunity to waste you!”

And from behind my neighbors trees I see Kevin, Dan and Kenneth with their water guns. This wasn’t a real threat, but at the same time it was. As I ran for my front door for cover they began squirting me with water. It was cold.

Dan reached the door before me. “Dude! What took you so long? Can’t you open a letter like a normal person?” He didn’t even give a chance to reply. He squirted me in the face.

We ended up messing around the rest of the day. And I got to say, I’m thankful for my friends.