It’s raining outside.

In the past month the Philippines has experienced minor downpours. The rain has fallen, running down sky scrapers, bridges, and light posts, into the street and taking with it the summer heat. I no longer sweat after exiting the house for more than five minutes. But instead of being drenched with perspiration, I now have to deal with soaked shoes, and wet jeans.

Yesterday I walked down Scout Midrinan with my umbrella in hand when the sky released its breathe and let down a heavy downpour. My small sized umbrella protected my head but anything below my knees was already beginning to feel like I’d marched part of myself into ocean. But this is the type of weather I love. The coolness, the drowning effect of the rain on rooftops and windows, the feeling of hope as maybe, just maybe school may be suspended for the day.

Rain can sustain our livelihood or it can be a force of destruction as we witnessed in last year’s Typhoon Ondoy. It makes life difficult as we sometimes have to trudge through floods that are ankle deep, or it can be a cleaning agent that washes away the dirt from tiled buildings or parked cars. It can limit our sights while driving, or it can clear away the smog that permeates our city. You can’t hate the rain. You can’t love it either. It’s just a part of life that we deal with on a yearly basis. Rain is.

It’s stopped raining outside. The only evidence we have of the rain’s existence is the puddles it left behind for us to stand in.

I attend a leadership class every Friday. I hate attending this class because every time I attend I feel like I’m being told everything that I’m doing wrong. You’re not proactive enough, you’re not supportive of your subordinates, you’re not taking your role seriously. It makes me want to scream, “I never wanted this in the first place!” But I’m here anyways. These classes aren’t about teaching – they’re about preaching, and it’s pretty heavy preaching. It makes the burden on my back feel 10 times its actual weight.

But at the same time, I need it. I need it to see my faults – to see the areas in which I can and should improve. The material isn’t about one aspect of my life, it’s about everything – they way I think, the way I talk and behave, the way I relate with other people. Leadership isn’t just about managing others, it’s about managing yourself. The class does emphasize on things I’m doing wrong, but it has made me stronger.

And in ten years, when I look back on my college years I hope to have made in impact. In a way I just want to leave behind a legacy – or a puddle.